no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize