Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(860): View more from Connecticut

i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.

Fav 23 4519 1184
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade

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(704): View more from North Carolina

She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..

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(785): View more from Kansas

It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes

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(360): View more from Washington

I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.

Fav 20 971 2157
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(812): View more from Indiana

See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.

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(313): View more from Michigan

My orgasm happened in two different decades

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