Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
