Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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