I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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