party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
