In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize