ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
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