Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
