This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize