Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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