Someone shit on the floor
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize