His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
