I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
