He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
