We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
