we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
