This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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