3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
