and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i came on her dog
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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