If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
