Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize