Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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