my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
