Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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