You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
