I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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