it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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