never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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