i need an iv and a liver transplant
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
