Nicole vs. Life
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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