i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
