260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
