I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
