Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
