Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
