If i come over, it means nothing
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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