respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
