I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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