I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Sorry about my life...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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