you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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