Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
