How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
