you would pick up someone in the library
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
