my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
