barbara walters just said penis...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
