He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
