i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize