Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
