I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
