Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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