Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
