I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
