ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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