Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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