If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
