is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
