I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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