Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
