Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize