life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
